Song and dance

Hurrah. What a fabulous week. Must endeavour not to write post in style of Bridget Jones: one may be reading the third Bridget Jones' Diary at present, but one should not allow one's reading matter to pervade one's very personal writing style. This week's achievements have been many and varied: I intend to focus on two of them. Neither is life-changing and one is positively ridiculous, to the extent that I should probably be embarrassed about labelling it an achievement. Nevertheless....

Achievement number 1. I have been taking a "course" in singing. This is almost certainly a misleading term; however, I am extremely happy to have been misled. All we really did was sing some songs together. I don't know that I sound any better at the end of the course than I did at the beginning, but I definitely feel better. You should just sing something out loud right now. Anything will do (Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me - the best version, singing both Elton John's and George Michael's parts - is perfect if you can't think of anything. Be sure to include the words, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Elton John!", before launching into Elton's first line). I'll give you a minute.


Feel better? Of course you do! (It's okay, I know you didn't really do it).

Anyway, I loved my singing "course" and didn't miss a single week of it (unlike the silly Zumba class: missed a couple of those just because staying at home was better). This week was the last week - boo - and it was a concert - yippee!

Now, the concert wasn't held at the Opera House or even the State Theatre. But there were real people there (eight, I think) and we did stand on a stage (okay, on the steps to the stage: tutor wanted us to be closer to the audience).

We had a very very short practice before the real people came in (and a little bit whilst they were actually in). After one song, the tutor, Greg, asked us how we thought it sounded. I said "Ropey", but - thankfully - nobody there speaks Yorkshire, so he just nodded and said "Yes, I thought you sounded amazing". Or perhaps he does speak Yorkshire and was just trying to avoid plummeting confidence levels five minutes before the performance began. Hmm.

Surprisingly, people were definitely nervous, thoughtless or somethingelseless, because none of the songs sounded quite the way they had done during the course. We also managed to bodge the endings of every single song. Luckily for us, the audience was made up solely of friends and family who hadn't paid anything to listen to us, so there were no complaints and no throwing of fruit.

Afterwards, we had "nibbles" and I practically forced people to eat my baking. I had made a spice cake for the occasion, which I thought was very marvellous of me. Mary - lovely Mary, I love her so much - took a piece and said "We had a girl who made two - TWO - huge lemon meringue pies for the concert last time. Everyone made a beeline for them and they were gone within seconds of the performance finishing." Then had a bite of my - slightly burnt - spice loaf.

I decided to accept the challenge: I plan to return next term and wow them with a more elaborate creation. I may also bring a cake stand, napkins etc - bet LMP woman didn't do that. Watch this space.

Achievement number 2. Oh, in case you were wondering, I am classing number 1 as my actual achievement, so I hope you weren't reading that thinking it was the non-achievement. That was actual amazingness there. This is the mildly ridiculous one...

So I ordered some new Xtend Barre gear a few days ago. The days are getting significantly warmer and my ballet classes significantly hotter. I decided that my gear may be to blame and ordered new stuff that I hope will be cooler in the studio.

The website said that this stuff can run on the large side and that they recommend going down a size, especially for the tights, so I picked two pairs of full length tights in size Small and a jacket in Medium as I wanted that to be a relaxed fit anyway.

It all arrived, I tried it all on... was all too big!

Now, this is where the stupid non-achievement bit comes in. I am clearly not an Extra Small (XS). But, but! How much fun to have to send stuff back and reorder in a miniature size!

It's also inconvenient, time-consuming and rather frustrating, but still, how much fun!

Sending the giant stuff back and having to pay the, no, still amazing to pack up huge, baggy clown clothing and ask nicely for tiny pixie size, please!

I cannot wait to get the stuff back! It is going to look phenomenal.

Sorry, I mean I am going to look phenomenal.

Sorry, I mean, I am going to feel much more comfortable in the warm studio. That's why I bought the amazing leopard print things. You see, I didn't even tell you it was all leopard print! Probably because it doesn't matter what it looks like, it's all about wearing the right clothes in order to enjoy the optimum workout experience.

But yes, it just so happens that they are a magnificent leopard print and I am going to look incredible in them.

Even when I wear them inside out by accident so that people can see how extra small I am.

Hurrah for this week! Items bought 3 Items too big 3 Items returned for bigness 3 Tiny items ordered as replacements 2 (v.g.) Singing concerts performed in 1 Cakes burnt 1 (not v.g.) Lemon meringue pies made 0 (must try harder)